Friday, September 30, 2011

Discreetly Packaged...

We don't get very many any discreetly packaged things at our house. That's because we don't really have anything to hide, I guess. Twice, we've gotten magazines in the mail with black wrappers around them. The first one was accidentally delivered to us instead of the guy upstairs (oops). That's how I found out what "black covered magazines" are all about. Yikes. The second one was supposed to be delivered to us, but upon opening the black packaging (with an angry eye toward my husband), it turned out to be completely innocuous. It was like a lawn equipment catalogue or something, but I was totally freaked out for a while thinking that the mailman would think we were pervs. My husband's virtue was redeemed, however.

Well, ladies, I just want you to know. If you ever order anything from Victoria's Secret online, it comes "discreetly packaged." I feel like such a rebellious as a woman with spaghetti sauce in her hair and mystery 4-year old goo on her nightgown can feel.


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Errant Thought Roundup 41

I love, I love, I hate, I hate,
I like, I wish, for goodness sake...
I hope, I hope, I pray, I pray,
I will, I won't, and for today...

I love having allies in other imperfect people. If you're perfect, please stay away.
I love the 30 before 30 goal...I've learned so much!
I hate when people misunderstand me or put me in a compartment they've created for me. I like to think I'm a little more dynamic than that.
I hate accidentally dropping glasses on our tile floor in our kitchen. Our kitchen floor has committed accidental glass-slaughter many a time. Ask me how it feels to get a forgotten shard of glass in your foot...
I like that I'm almost to a point where I can easily give up facebook. I will miss a lot of the friends I have on there, but people know how to get in touch with me, and I'm getting a little bored with "stalking."
I wish my stomach would stop sounds like I swallowed an alien.
For goodness sake, if we're going to spread "interesting" stories, let's not veil them with, "I'm only telling you this because I know you'll never say anything." or "I'd really like you to pray for so-and-so because..." If someone tells you a personal secret, keep it. If you become privy to information that isn't your business, forget it. If you catch me gossiping, throw my hypocrisy in my face. I totally deserve it.
I hope my child(ren) will have amazing childhood memories. Every time I walk outside around this time of year, I feel 7 years old again cheerleading for flag football really doesn't seem like so long ago.
I hope I am never ungracious.
I pray that it works...I know I prayed that last week...I've been pretty much praying it every time I think about it. Pray with me, friend :)
I pray for whatever is on your heart right now. If you need me to be more specific, please let me know.
I will have the most fun ever with Tatiana on Sunday the 9th. We've got big city plans :)
I won't (or at least I'll try very hard not to) succumb to the negativity of others. What a disease. Be affirming, be joyful, be a light -- those things are our choice.
And for today, Henry Ford once (wisely) said, "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." In other words, everyone thinks he's "the good guy" in a discussion. Make an effort to figure out why.


30 Before 30 - Pride and Prejudice

26 down, 4 to go! 13/15 of the way finished! Four more books, and I'll officially have met my goal....I am so going to finish this.

Pride and Prejudice is a polarizing book, but I have no idea why. People love it or they hate it. Why?? I could see "love it or be indifferent about it," but "love it or hate it" seems really a stretch.

Anyway - I am a lover. Once again, this is probably evidence of my shortcomings as a literary critic, but I LOVED it! It ended JUST the way it was supposed to. I am too tired to give my customary spoiler review. You'll just have to believe me when I say that the ending makes it perfect.

I love it when I love the books on my list. Makes me so happy :)

Next Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I Want a Do Over

Today, I picked Sadie up from school, went to the produce store, went to the grocery store, came home, cooked dinner, served dinner, and washed dishes (Eric is at clinic late tonight, so it was just me and the munchkin). As I was washing dishes, I looked up and noticed that my sweet baby girl had laid down on the sofa and gone to was 7:30. Her normal bedtime is 8:30.

The extent of my interaction with her today includes:
  • telling her we couldn't snuggle anymore because I might miss my train
  • dragging her through the morning routine ("Sadie, I need you to focus on brushing your teeth right now")
  • dropping her off at school with a hug and a "be awesome today"
  • picking her up from school where she politely asked if I could buy her a book...I told her I couldn't because I didn't have any money with me.
  • refusing to buy the fruit she wanted at the produce store
  • fussing at her for touching the fresh parsley
  • laughing when she got upset about the fact that I accidentally dropped a receipt outside the car as we were leaving (why can't I control my hysteria?). I ended up getting back out of the car, picking up the receipt, and handing it to her. I asked her why she got so upset about it because, "it's just a receipt, Sadie." She responded with, "but it's OUR receipt, mommy." Serious business.
  • speeding her through the grocery store parking lot while she was singing a song so that some moron in a Mini wouldn't have to wait an extra three seconds at the pedestrian crossing.
  • fussing at her for trying to ride on the side of the grocery cart at the grocery store.
  • promising her we were going to make spaghetti tonight (her favorite) only to realize we didn't really have time to cook it and would be having something else.
  • making her help me carry grocery bags inside.
  • telling her we'd play a game tonight if she would clean the living room while I was cleaning the kitchen
  • listening to her tell me she was which I responded, "ok, then you don't want to play a game?"
  • watching her crawl her tired little booty up onto the sofa and fall asleep at 7:30pm.
  • whispering to her how precious she is to me as I carry her (sleeping) into her room to put her in the bed.
  • remembering that I promised her she could eat m&m's after dinner and then realizing I never gave them to her.
I am literally crying about the two hours I lost with her tonight. I want a do over. When errands and chores get in the way of me hanging out with Sadie, something's wrong. Yet another reason I wish I had more time with her during the day. Do you get to spend more than 2-2.5 waking hours a day with your child? Be thankful. That is *such* a gift.

Tomorrow, I'm reprioritizing. I'm not doing a single chore until after Sadie goes to bed. That means that I will be up until a most unholy hour trying to get everything straightened up after she goes to bed. It also means that I will be the picture of exhaustion on Friday, but I'd rather be an "exhausted, attentive mother" than a "well-rested, unattentive mother."

Monday, September 26, 2011

"Truly Outrageous" Jem Costume Tutorial...

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the cartoon "Jem" comes on the network The Hub now. I am acutely aware of this fact because even though we are not really TV watchers, we somehow manage to catch practically every episode of "Jem." Wonders never cease.

You're welcome.

The show originally aired between 1985-1988. Sadie has accidentally become a Jem fan, so she asked me if she could be Jem for Halloween this year. Since this puts me in super flashback mode, how could I say no?? I've scoured the web, and there's no such thing as a DIY Jem costume tutorial for kids (only for adults re-living their childhoods), so here's a quick tutorial on a VERY easy and kid-centric Jem costume...

You'll need:
2 yards of flashy pink fabric for the dress
6 inches of another flashy coordinating fabric (for the sash)
1 yard of another flashy coordinating fabric (for bottom part of the sash)
-- channel the 80's when looking for these fabrics...makes it even more fun --
1 old shirt that you don't mind cutting for this project

Step 1: Measuring the Dress Material
Wrap the flashy dress fabric around your child's waist 1.5 times and then cut at that point.

Step 2: Dress Shaping Part I
Fold the fabric lengthwise in half and stitch wrong side out along the long raw edges (the two edges you just folded together - you want them sewn shut. After sewing the long ends together, flip the fabric right side out. You should now have a long flashy tube of fabric.

Step 3: Dress Shaping Part II
Fold the tube in half width-wise - if your kid is about the same size as my kid (i.e., kid-sized), then this should turn out to be square-ish. Sew along the open ends (width-wise) should be sewing through four layers of fabric for this step. Flip the square right side out (so that the ugly part of the seam you just sewed is on the inside).
Cute baby girl cameo!

Step 4: Making the Top of the Dress
I took the easy route on this (a.k.a., I forgot to buy a zipper or velcro, so I had to figure out an alternative real quick). I used one of Sadie's old shirts (this one:)
I cut across the shirt (pretty high up - right under the sleeves).
Sadie took that photo because she's the coolest kid ever. This piece, in combination with the skirt tube thing you just made will form the dress.

Step 5: Gather the Waist
You'll need to gather the waist of the "skirt" part (from steps 1-3) so that the circumference of the skirt is equal to the circumference of the shirt. Don't go TOO tight with this because you want it to still fit over your child's head. To gather the waist, make a LONG stitch (use your longest stitch function) all the way around the perimeter of your skirt. You'll want to make sure to stitch on the side with the seam - that way the "pretty" side will be the bottom hem of the dress. Once you've made the long stitch, pull (very gently) one piece of the thread on the ends. You should be able to push the material (very gently) all the way around the thread so that it starts bunching up. If the thread rips, you'll have to start this step all over again. So if I haven't made it clear, be VERY gentle when pulling your gather.
The gathered side will be the "top" of the skirt portion of the dress. It will be mostly hidden by the next step.

Step 6: Attaching the "Top" and the "Skirt" Together to Make the Dress
After you've made sure that the skirt goes over your child's head (with their arms raised, it should go over their head and they should be able to step out of it) AND that it is relatively the same size as the cut part of the shirt, you'll want to stitch those two together.
After you've stitched them together, they'll look like this:
Woohoo - shaping up!

Step 7: Making the V-Neck
I wanted the costume to have the Jem v-neck, but I couldn't stand the thoughts of putting Sadie in that cut, so I improvised! Cut two strips of leftover flashy dress fabric - 10" x 12." Fold them lengthwise so that they are12" long by 5" wide. Sew up the open length. Flip right side out.
You should have two of these.

Step 8: Attaching the V-Neck
Sew these 12" x 5" fabric tubes to your dress in the shape of a v-neck.


Step 9: Attaching the Flashy Sash
I took the 6" flashy sash material made it into a circle exactly the size of the dress waist, then I sewed it all the way around the dress waist. It covered up the ugly ends of the v-neck tubes, and it's sparkly and pink...what's not to love?

Step 10: Attaching the Bottom Part of the Flashy Sash
I took the other coordinating sash material and made the scarf-like portion of the sash. You can just tie this on, but I sewed it to the dress because that will make it less to keep up with come trick-or-treat time.
The bottom part of the sash is the purple sparkly tulle in the photo above.

Add a pink wig, pink shoes, pink tights, pink microphone, pink face paint, and pink bracelets, pink star earrings, and you have yourself a hot mess fabulous 80's pop princess.
PS - we covered Sadie's existing microphone with pink fabric - of course she didn't protest...when something you own goes from black to pink, clearly you celebrate.

I definitely took some liberties with the costume to make it more kid-friendly, but Sadie is ecstatic - she is a vision in pink.

I just *just* became highly concerned that she might be mistaken for Lady Gaga, so sometime this week, I'm making her a nametag that says "Jem" on it (thanks for the idea Lacy!) worries, mama's got this under control. I'm also going to give her wig a hair cut so that it's a little choppier (like Jem's), but otherwise, she's truly outrageous!


Eye Glitter Q&A

Q: Why did I have glitter fluttering into my eyes this weekend?
A: Because I put some of Sadie's Tinker Bell Glitter Makeup over my eye shadow.

Q: Why did I put Sadie's Tinker Bell Glitter Makeup over my eye shadow?
A: Because I am almost 30 years old, and I no longer own eye glitter of my own.

Q: Why did I care about putting on eye glitter?
A: Because I went to the So You Think You Can Dance tour this weekend!!!

The last time I used eye glitter, I probably made some subsequent bad decisions. I'd venture to guess that MOST of the time, when eye glitter is involved, bad decisions follow. THIS time, however, I was much more concerned with keeping the glitter out of my eyes than with making bad decisions. Pretty sure I don't even remember how to make bad decisions, come to think of it...

My beautiful friend Keri and I went to the show together - here's a pic of us cheesin' it before the show started:

Here are some things I learned about myself during this little adventure:
1) I am totally awkward with sparkly makeup
2) Girls nights out are absolutely necessary if for nothing else than you get to talk to a grown up woman for a while.
3) I should be way more proud of my thighs. Those girls had some serious legs and they were BEAUTIFUL.
4) I don't own a single "cute top" anymore. What happened to the clothes I used to wear to teen night at Yesterday's? Oh yeah...they DIED with the 90's. Praise the Lord for small the demise of 90's fashion.
5) When I was younger, I danced competitively. If we had ever seen talent like this when we were competing, we would have had to physically pick our jaws up off the floor. And we thought we were good! :)

The show was out of this world - I am DEFINITELY taking Sadie next year. She'll fuh-reak!

I leave you with this final eloquent thought from SYTYCD judge Mary Murphy:


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Errant Thought Roundup 40

I love, I love, I hate, I hate,
I like, I wish, for goodness sake...
I hope, I hope, I pray, I pray,
I will, I won't, and for today...

I love (love, love, love) my husband. He's my favorite person ever.
I love that Sadie and I are going through a book that teaches reading at a fairly slow pace, and she is picking it up like a champ!
I hate that Sadie got poison ivy on her face and arms - we have no idea how. It's finally starting to heal, though!
I hate that I have such a black thumb. Lolly is almost gone :(
I like that I have officially lost enough weight to fit into my cheerleading uniform from HIGH SCHOOL. Granted, I haven't lost weight because I'm eating healthy and exercising -- it's because of a horrendous amount of stress at work -- but I'm still pleased.
I wish NCSU would have a good football season one of these years. Poor Eric - football season is always rough on him.
For goodness sake, I need to remember that I am only one woman. I have a tough time with that one.
I hope Keri and I have an AWESOME TIME at SYTYCD this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!!! I see a lot of glitter in our future...
I hope we get some semblance of an Autumn this year - this "hey it's summer! oh it's winter!" thing is for the birds, dude.
I pray that it works. Can you pray that it works too?
I pray that I can learn to be a better wife. I'm a pretty darn good one, but I want to be the best one ever.
I will enjoy getting to do all of the fun girlie milestones with Sadie...proms, wedding, is so beautiful.
I won't tell Eric what his birthday present this year is (even though I want to so bad!). You should know, however, that this might bump me up to the "best wife ever" status I've been praying for (sorry, girls, you'll have to settle for second best.)
And for today...sometimes we just need a shift in perspective. Stand on your sofa and look around. It will rock your rocks mine every time.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

30 Before 30 - I'm Such a Liar.

I told you I was going to read War and Peace next. That was a lie. I didn't mean it to be a lie - I really was going to do it, but I just can't. It absolutely has to be #30. I MUST make it through 29 books before tackling that horrible tome.

Next book - Pride and Prejudice



Sometimes I like to give Sadie art supplies and see what awesome stuff she comes up with. Tonight's watercolors are going on a wall in a frame.
I would rather have these gorgeous paintings by my sweet Sadie girl than the Mona Lisa herself.

PS - remember her "Kandinsky-esque" concentric circle drawings? I'm thinking about using the same frame for the watercolors...what do you think?

Happy Sunday!

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Last night I asked Eric if he would give Sadie her bath while I took a shower. When I got out of the shower, they were both passed out in the living room...

...and all I could think to myself was, "she has no idea how lucky she is to have him."


Sadie Playing Soccer!

Sadie had her first day of soccer ever today! A couple of daddies joked about how "geared up" Sadie was today...let's face it: I don't know how to play soccer, but I sure can pick out a soccer outfit (with a matching grossgrain ribbon). We thought they were getting their soccer shirts today, but it looks like they won't get them until next week.

Sadie jumped right in and started playing like she knew what she was doing - one of the parents turned to us and said, "you know this is for beginners, right?" haha - they would have NEVER said that about me on the field as a kid :) I'm so proud of her! She showed those boys what's up!

Please enjoy the cuteness...

Walking to the field with Daddy:

Stretching is really important...

So serious...

Posing for the camera...

Same pose, new smile:

Action shot!

Practicing "dribbling"

New friend "Isabella":

Big shocker...another pose:


Post game huddle :)

Those were the only three girls there - there were probably upwards of 20 little boys, but of course girls stick together, ya know.


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

30 Before 30 - Winnie the Pooh

25 down, 5 to go!

Here's a photo of the awesomeness as it has progressed:

I don't know if you remember, but when I first started this little self-challenge, I gave myself a disclaimer that I wouldn't get upset with myself if I didn't finish because I would have at least read a few good books. Wellllllll...that's all changed. I have five books to go in the next 9 months. If I don't finish, I will be thoroughly disappointed with myself. I was saving War and Peace for #30, but since I'm taking a quick break to read The Help I decided that I could handle reading something really heavy afterwards.

All right, I know you're dying to hear all about Winnie the Pooh. Ok...I know you're not, but I'm going to prattle on about it anyway. The book is actually a series of stories about the little adventures of Winnie the Pooh and his Hundred Acre Wood friends. For those of you who already knew this, you probably think I'm dumb, but I thought that the book was going to be one long continuous story that I'd never heard before. Instead, it was a compilation of stories that I had, indeed, heard (well...seen) in the past. It was a fabulous little read - Sadie and I used it as her bedtime stories for a week or so - she really loved it, but I had to modify the vocabulary a bit so that she would understand it. What is up with children's books and run on sentences and complicated words? Despite that, she looked forward to her Winnie the Pooh story each night - very cute.

I won't tell you the stories - you know them all. The book was great, and I'm very very glad that it was on my list. Incidentally, did you know that Winnie the Pooh's real name was "Edward?"

Don't YOU feel educated now.

I've been singing this song non-stop for the past week. Do you remember it? I'm now getting requests for it. :)
Next Book (as you know): War and Peace - it ought to be a blast.


30 Before 30 - Great Expectations

24 down, 6 to go! FOUR FIFTHS of the way finished!!!

Great Expectations - the short and skinny: I really liked it. I realized when I was reading this book, though, that I will never be a literary critic or a book snob. I was talking with a person at my work who can't stand any literature by Charles Dickens, and all I could think to myself was, "but...but...what about A Christmas Carol?!?! Who doesn't love Ebeneezer Scrooge?" No, not even that one. I realize people's tastes in literature vary, but my taste in literature is the equivalent of my taste in wine: I know what I like even if the experts disagree. It probably makes me backwoods and uncultured, but I'll take uncultured and happy any day :)

On to Great Expectations...

Here's the spoiler: An orphan boy named Pip is raised "by hand" harshly by his sister. Her husband (his brother in-law) is his only ally in the world for a while (and continues to be his ally throughout the book). As a boy, he does a good deed for an escaped convict after which he is guilt ridden. He is commissioned to go to the house of an eccentric, wealthy old woman and "play" to entertain her. There, he meets the woman's adopted daughter who is about his age. He ends up in love with her (pretty much from first sight), and is ashamed of his poor upbringing and "lowly" station in life. Soon after, he is informed via a third party (an attorney) that an "anonymous benefactor" (who wishes to maintain anonymity for the foreseeable future) wants to fund Pip's education and induction into gentlemanly ways. He gets new clothes, moves to London, and, under the guardianship of the attorney, is provided for in every way possible and is denied nothing because his pocketbook is perpetually heavy. He is convinced that the benefactor is the eccentric old woman and that the woman intends to make him a gentleman so that he can one day marry her daughter. In his adulthood, it is revealed to Pip that his anonymous benefactor has always been the convict that he helped when he was a child. The convict comes (in peril of his life) to London to live with Pip. Initially, this is all together disagreeable (and detestable) to Pip, but after MULTIPLE crazy ridiculous plot twists that I don't have time to go into here, Pip ends up having genuine affection for this man. Ah, but does he get the girl? The original ending to the book indicates that he decidedly does not get the girl, but the alternate (and most widely accepted) ending offers a teensy tiny glimmer of hope that they might end up happily together. I like that ending better (you know how I feel about protagonists winning).

The thing that is so great about Great Expectations is that the plot is so completely interwoven with itself that it just loops around and around until it all makes sense. Although the heavy foreshadowing in the book made it pretty predictable at times, there was always something new to think about that kept the pages turning for me even up to the very last page.

There's so much more that happens in the book that I didn't get into...super twisted plot. I really liked it. I'm about to watch the movie...

Next Book: War and Peace (Oh. em. gee.) I have never been so nervous about picking up a book. I want you to know that this is a true Russian tome. There are over a thousand pages of the smallest print you've ever seen. I'm going to be working on this one until Christmas, but I gotta get it knocked out.

PS - I'm taking a short break to read The Help because my mama asked me to. She doesn't ask much of me, so I'mma do it. :)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Jesus and Potatoes

Tonight, getting out of the car after returning from the grocery store...

Sadie: I'll get the potatoes!
[Yeah, right...she tells me she's tired when she carries potato chips...this ought to last about three seconds]

Sadie {grabs 5lb bag of potatoes}: [GRUNT] GOT 'em!

Me: WOW, Sadie! Look at you - you're carrying those potatoes! Those look really heavy, you're doing a great job!

Sadie {grunting and leaning back with the potatoes in alternating grips...walking as fast as she can}: Thank you, Mommy.

Me: Ok, you've carried them a long way - do you want me to help you?

Sadie: No Mommy, that's ok...Jesus is with me.

She made it all the way inside with that big bag of potatoes and NO help (well...besides Jesus).

I have such a hard time keeping a straight face sometimes... :)


You might also like:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...