Sometimes I feel like a failure as a mom.
Someone held a mirror up to my parenting style recently, and I was aghast. Like - seriously blown away. I like to pretend that I'm super-savvy mom with everything figured out, but after a glimpse at where I had apparently failed, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. And like a complete failure.
I have done some serious retrospection and introspection since that moment, and I've come to a conclusion: I'm not perfect. I mean...I already knew that, but while I was busy beating myself up (like...Rocky style), it re-occurred to me that I am a big blob of not-good-enough. I'm going to mess up (a lot), Sometimes Sadie's dinner is less-than-balanced (pizza anyone?), sometimes I laugh when she pouts, sometimes I get impatient, sometimes I get judgmental and forget that I need to pull the plank out of my own eye before worrying with the splinters in the eyes of others.
But in spite of my shortcomings... My child knows that she's loved. She has food. She has shelter. She has kisses and hugs. She has bedtime stories EVERY night. She has snuggles EVERY morning. She has a routine. She knows what it means to serve others. She knows how to pray. She genuinely cares about her friends and her family. She says "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am," and "yes sir" and "no sir," and "please" and "thank you," and a myriad of other niceties. She doesn't whine. She doesn't beg for "things." She has seriously thoughtful conversations (you know...for a four year old). She is being entrenched in the values of our family. Someone had to instill that stuff in her, right? Right?!
So, in honor of every mother who has ever felt like the "worst mother in the world," here's a little note of encouragement: When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see (especially when someone else has put that mirror in front of you), remember that there is a little person who thinks the sun rises and sets in your eyes. "We are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Rom 8:37). You have every tool in the tool kit to be the best possible mother for your child - you were hand selected for your kiddo(s) because you were the *perfect* mother for them. Don't be discouraged...take heart. Remember the things you've done correctly. Parenting is mostly guesswork. If you guess right 51% of the time, you're ahead of the curve. Pat yourself on the back for the good times, and plow through the bad ones. All of the scouring that your spirit goes through during those times will make it GLEAM when you come out on the other side.
I'm cheering for you...and for me.